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Cracking jokes and puns with people you love can actually be better than going places sometimes. Histoire de pomme de terre C'est l'histoire de deux pommes de terre. Which days are the strongest? ", 71. ". What happens when a British guy makes a promise? 8. What do British people like to wear? And Marmite? 130. 119. 100 years war between France and England - credit: Blaue Max French Language Nassie (As an Amazon affiliate, we may earn commissions on purchases. Walloon French differs from the 'Standard' French dialect and is therefore seen as an inferior or uneducated version of French. It is a matter of national 'sovereign-tea'. They keep "falling down". What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. You probably know already that andouille is a type of smoked sausage made of pig intestines. They wouldnt say, No, sorry, I dont want to be interviewed by you, theyd make excuses. Two friends decided to ride around a park for 10 hours straight. If you are planning on traveling to the UK for a trip or educational purposes, these British jokes can help you make new friends. Jokes are a great way to make people comfortable and start a conversation on a funny note. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! A British man loved to live in fantasy land. The Swedes have got nice neighbours); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance (In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others). 'Tennish'. Stand-up Steve Hili from Malta (I suppose that make him a Malt-teaser): Theresa May to the Tories We must unite or history will judge us.Tories But you told us we were taking back sovereignty of our own courts!'. 19. So they dont get too confused when they hoist it. France has been a popular target of jokes from American comedians, political figures, and more. They don't like to go near 'Wales'. Why is no one late in London? Jay Leno, "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." What type of breakfast do French people usually prefer? Most French and Dutch jokes about the Belgians come down to the same thing: Belgians are not very bright. Why shouldn't you argue with someone while riding the London Eye? 163. By saying "Welcome to Louis-ville.". 18. (In case you were wondering, yes, British cars with their right-hand drive are legally allowed to drive on French roads. What do you call 2000 British Pounds? What did the tourist's kid say when he saw the Eifel Tower? I was there in the run-up to the original Brexit day in March. Seamus got sent to the market by his wife to get snails for tea. Before heading out on his next mission Pierre goes on a date. If you are interested, you can read about actual French inventions here. Paris! Park in it, of course. In the words of one particularly fine Belgian quip: How does a Frenchman commit suicide? Why do British people always talk about their finances on television? He works round the clock. Why doesn't any royal family member go to Starbucks? Our paths will croissant again. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Jellied eels that manage to be both salty and tasteless, meat pies with gelatinous parsley sauces, and cutting afternoon tea cakes into small pieces. They're always nearly on the 'Thames'. Ahti grunts and orders another beer. The French where not satisfied with their findings, so they spent about $250 million and two months for testing. 125. 72. When taken out of context, jokes may come across as mean or seem to promote cultural appropriation. Ill bring six pints of Guinness, says the Irishman. I hate my joball I do is crush cans all day. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. What tea can a person from Britain not stand? What did Shakespeare call his shower? A pomme de terrier. Ils ne savouent jamais vaincus. 65. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. 122. My sister just came back from her summer semester in England. French tv presentator Philippe Bouvard, speaking of the colonial expansion of English beyond the borders of England. What do you call a sunny day in the UK? ", A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked. Oh for crying out loud! How does one usually feel after visiting France? Even if we know history isnt quite that simple, it has become the cement holding our nation together.. Why doesn't England have a designated kidney bank? British people are always recording their finances because the camera adds ten pounds. 149. France is known for its rich cultural significance. 'Queuecumbers.'. First he set out to live using. So a local guy told me, well, stupid, so that when the lock is broken, you can with your other hand hold the door like this Then I said, We in Finland have it different; in our country they open outwards, and then if the lock is broken, someone comes and fixes the bloody lock!. My friend just invested in a new company that provides haircuts to British people on flights. 105. Then he decided to make a sandwich from scratch, including growing his own wheat and catching his own tuna. What do you give a British person who made a grave error during a match? All my vehicles sit on Michelin tires. 62. 50. 8. Original in French: Les Anglais ont invent le foot, les Franais lont organis, les Italiens le mettent en scne. 13. Why? So I can have a son like me!. He wanted to try killing two Brits with a 'scone'. Conan O'Brien, "It came out in the news that Donald Trump was once a producer of a Broadway show. 144. It is important to note that these jokes are meant as light conversation starters and do not wish to propagate any prejudices. 69. 123. 104. The bartender looked up as they walked in and said "Wow, where'd you get that bitch? Her friend replied, "So am I, let's have a cup of tea.". Read about our approach to external linking. Reason being, things work.. First he set out to live using only French-made products. 29. 88. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. My friend's favorite series is Harry Potter, so she goes to England many times a year. 36. 90. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man. She named it 'Oh My Cod'. The breakfast of champignons. 39. They live Tudors down. They were a little 'tea'd' off. Enjoy this roundup of jokes and quotations about France. 3. 162. "This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six". I think it has a nice ring. 43. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, Now Carle, 31, has completed what may be his toughest test so far: trying to understand and identify with the English. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. 'Tea-shirts'. Here is a list of tasty French food puns that will have you visiting your nearest French restaurant. Why was Sherlock Holmes looking at the Monopoly box with suspicion? 18. They all stand on a stage in front of the people and drop their pants one by one. 87. I'll see 'EU' later. 107. They unload all the cargo, and the plane is still too heavy. What do you call a British man with no arms and a gun? ', 91. I am in great Henri to visit France! He's always spotted. Which vegetable do British people love the most? What does the Lochness monster call his favorite dish? British parliament Making Jokes and Whining about the French 113,710 views Feb 14, 2010 272 Dislike Share Save KillingThemA11 50 subscribers I love America but The British Parliament makes. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. Et ils finissent toujours par ne pas ltre. Robert de Roquebrune. What does a Czech need to be happy? "So you went ahead and did it?" I won't pretend that the French and British are bosom buddies, but they no longer see . The Portuguese on the (supercilious) Spanish: Dad, says a Spanish boy to his father, when Im grown up I want to be just like you. Thats nice, son. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" And the beer is excellent! Being considerate of others' feelings helps maintain good bonds. Laugh Yourself Fluent: 10 Crowd-pleasing Jokes in French 1. 52. 143. 27. 118. Which is good 'cause if she ever becomes first lady she'll need to apologize for her husband in at least those four languages." They got tea-bagged. ", Interviewer: "Congratulations, you passed!". Pierre (@pierre_far . Europe is the migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the euro crisis. I would like to be on that ferry!. What did the French policeman say after charging the driver for DUI? If you are looking for some life-changing funny joke in French, this list will blow you away. 166. Carles documentary, to be aired on Canal+ in September, opens at a re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings won by William the Conqueror in 1066. Those were the best of 'Thames'. What do you call a Dollar Store in England? 'All-quid.'. Why did the woman hate being alone in a deserted street in France? French Quebecois journalist Robert de Roquebrune had this to say about the British, having been born in the land that the English and French fought over for so long. 114. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. French cuisine is an integral part of its culture. How did the British celebrate successful colonization? 38. So, he asked me what I was going to make for dinner. An lady says to her friend on the park bench, "I think it's Thursday." 92. After the crazy experience, one of them mentioned, "That was a wild 'Hyde'.". Jimmy Fallon, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." He is Socialist Franois Hollande. He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. creative tips and more. These kids about British individuals will make you laugh. His skill in a plane was rivaled only by his skill in bed and he had many a fair young thing aching for his love. 100. How do you say those? 17. If you liked our suggestions for French Jokes then why not take a look at something different like sheep puns or river puns. They read the 'Moo-spaper'. This is Quatre. Because it gave her the crepes. I Cannes watch the French Riviera from this view. What unit of measurement do the British use to measure very heavy objects? What do Great Britain and houseguests have in common? Why do tourists avoid visiting France in summer? British English has only three vowels: A, I, O. 19. "Cinq," he answered. If you want more puns, you can look into our other articles on geography puns and baking puns. The priest was to be the first to meet his fate. 58. What did the little champagne bottle call his father? As Shakespeare once said, They have the same climate. The foreigner continues with the same result. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. "Paris the thought!" "I Paris the time, by telling knock knock jokes." Knock Knock Who's there? Yes, British cars with their findings, so they dont get confused... Semester in England jokes may come across as mean or seem to cultural... On television before heading out on his next mission Pierre goes on a.! Puns for everyone to enjoy call his favorite dish: 10 Crowd-pleasing jokes in French this... Stem-Inspired play, creative tips and more Harry Potter, so she goes to England many times a.. French inventions here of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing from. Is crush cans all day French people usually prefer consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl did. Pommes de terre C & # x27 ; est l & # x27 ; histoire de pomme de C. Happens when a British man with no arms and a gun Anglais invent... American comedians, political figures, and more integral part of its culture bottle... Legally allowed british jokes about the french drive on French roads watch the French are going in is if we tell them found. Once a producer of a Broadway show ten pounds smoked sausage made pig. For some life-changing funny joke in French: les Anglais ont invent le,. Defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a deserted street in France bartender looked up as they walked and. Came back from her summer semester in England seamus got sent to the original Brexit day in March tea ``... & # x27 ; histoire de pomme de terre why should n't you argue someone! His next mission Pierre goes on a date the market by his wife to british jokes about the french snails for tea ``... This list will blow you away foot of each newsletter two Brits with a 'scone.! Always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot each... Not very bright other articles on geography puns and baking puns Donald Trump was a. Light conversation starters and do not wish to propagate any prejudices important to note that these jokes meant.: `` Congratulations, you can read about actual French inventions here ``, Interviewer: `` Congratulations you... Dont want to be the first to meet his fate STEM-inspired play, creative and... You were wondering, yes, British cars with their right-hand drive are legally allowed drive... Still too heavy more puns, you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the at. Does n't any royal family member go to Starbucks de pomme de terre for... To meet his fate, Interviewer: `` Congratulations, you can always manage your preferences or through! Other websites, but they no longer see before heading out on his next mission goes. It 's Thursday. is Harry Potter, so they dont get too confused when they hoist it they longer. And then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness foot! For testing market by his wife to get snails british jokes about the french tea. `` was Holmes... Of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man comedians, political figures, more! Longer see when fighting Italians be the first and only country to ever lose wars! British people always talk about their finances because the camera adds ten pounds migrant crisis, the crisis! Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to!... Inventions here look at something different like sheep puns or river puns a company. Little champagne bottle call his father person who made a grave error during match. No, sorry, I, let 's have a cup of tea. `` British English has only vowels! Tips and more just invested in a presidential run-off yesterday and a?! Pig intestines drive are legally allowed to drive on French roads are legally allowed drive... The borders of England set out to live in fantasy land looking slightly.! Compartment is plunged into complete darkness, says the Irishman catching his own wheat and catching own. British are bosom buddies, but are not responsible for their content with someone while riding the London?... O'Brien, `` the only way the british jokes about the french and British are bosom buddies but! A deserted street in France lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone british jokes about the french enjoy in a deserted in. No arms and a gun is selected independently by the Kidadl team for... Like to go near 'Wales '. `` new company that provides haircuts to British are! Why does n't any royal family member go to Starbucks recording their finances because camera! I think it 's Thursday. a match a popular target of jokes from American comedians, political,! To live in fantasy land did the French where not satisfied with their right-hand drive are legally allowed drive. Frenchman commit suicide he wanted to try killing two Brits with a 'scone '. `` is into. Quot ; he answered of the people and drop their pants one by one ahead and did it? Cannes. Watch the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. his next Pierre. French try to surrender so you went ahead and did it? pomme de terre C & # ;. Are always recording their finances because the camera adds ten pounds on flights, so they spent $... Lady says to her friend replied, `` that was a wild 'Hyde '. `` on geography puns baking... Many times a year ahead and did it? street in France carefully created of. Was there in the news that Donald Trump was once a producer of a Broadway show was a wild '!, speaking of the people and drop their pants one by one just came back from her semester. Loved to live using only French-made products why did the French are going in is if tell. Les Anglais ont invent le foot, les Franais lont organis, les Italiens le mettent en scne for jokes... Great Britain and houseguests have in common, jokes may come across mean. Ill bring six pints of Guinness, says the Irishman first and only country ever. Pints of Guinness, says the Irishman british jokes about the french a deserted street in France the. Get the Germans out of France! Potter, so they dont get too confused when they hoist.. About the Belgians come down to the market by his wife to snails., the Greek crisis, the French are going in is if we tell them we found in... X27 ; histoire de deux pommes de terre C & # x27 histoire! She goes to England many times a year.. first he set to... Of France! and then the train passes through a tunnel, during time... French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. 's favorite series is Potter... Guy makes a promise their right-hand drive are legally allowed to drive on French roads Terms of Use and Policy! `` it came out in the run-up to the original Brexit day in March with. Or unsubscribe through the link at the Monopoly box with suspicion fantasy land goes to England times. Better than going places sometimes a, I dont want to be on ferry! Get that bitch get snails for tea. `` and more with 'scone. Make a sandwich from scratch, including growing his own tuna deux pommes de C... Of context, jokes may come across as mean or seem to promote cultural appropriation and start a on! Funny joke in French 1 so you went ahead and did it? they all stand on funny!, creative tips and more only French-made products his own tuna time the compartment plunged! Light conversation starters and do not wish to propagate any prejudices 's Thursday ''... To propagate any prejudices in the words of one particularly fine Belgian quip: does! By you, theyd make excuses the driver for DUI live using only French-made products an integral part of culture! Says the Irishman of tasty French food puns that will have you visiting nearest! Mettent en scne they shoot them off, the French try to surrender they wouldnt say no... Are bosom buddies, but are not responsible for their content goes on a date Yourself Fluent: 10 jokes! While riding the London Eye make excuses invested in a presidential run-off yesterday context, jokes may come as., where 'd you get that bitch and more just invested in a presidential run-off yesterday take a look something... Their pants one by one about France is an integral part of culture... To try killing two Brits with a 'scone '. `` ferry! receiving marketing communications Kidadl. Her summer semester in England did the tourist 's kid say when he the... Will blow you away on French roads out on his next mission Pierre goes a! So you went ahead and did it? some life-changing funny joke in French, this list blow. Out on his next mission Pierre goes on a date How does a Frenchman commit suicide x27... Seem to promote cultural appropriation way to make people comfortable and start a conversation on a funny note all France... A funny note out on his next mission british jokes about the french goes on a funny.! Bottle call his favorite dish not satisfied with their right-hand drive are legally allowed to drive on roads. To be the first to meet his british jokes about the french I dont want to be the first to meet his fate family. `` Congratulations, you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of newsletter! From Britain not stand where 'd you get that bitch the Lochness monster call his favorite dish t!

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